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Ask Dr. Rush Limbo
America's Most Successful Homophobic & Racist Sex Therapist


Fridday, November 6, 2009

Dear Dr. Rush,
Why isn't TED 4 out yet?
Still Frantic in Fresno


Dr Rush says,

Take Em Down 4 has been out for weeks and I almost don't need hard drugs anymore. TED 4 at ThugMart.com



Friday, March 20, 2009

Dear Dr. Rush,
I am so F*CK'IN mad at that so-called porn star, Tiger Tyson. Months ago he promised a preview clip for his next movie "Take 'Em Down 4". And he has failed to give me what I want. Now I have to go back to the street and find some black teen addled by his addiction to illegal drugs in order to satisfy my craving. Should I try to buy some nuclear arms from Iran or someplace else in order to try to destroy Tiger Tyson's company?
Frantic in Fresno, CA

Dr Rush says,

Boy you know it! I don't get mad at anything stupid that a-hole Michael Steele the black chairman of the Republican National Whatever says. It is way more important to post as many comments as you can to TigerTysonBlog.com three, maybe four times a day. Whatever you do, don't start organizing for civil rights, gay rights, or issues of poverty. Keep venting your rage at the only true source of what is wrong, Tiger Tyson! (even though he is SUCH a DreamBoat!

Tuesday, January, 2009

Dear Dr. Rush,
You seem to be slacking in your online advice - is it still safe in America to be a racist homophobe like you - especially in bed?
Bose Boise, Idaho

Dr Rush says,

Hell yeah! Sometimes I take a break from life with my favorite recreational drug Oxycontin and other times I just get so filled with my own self-hatred that I can barely move my fingers across a computer keyboard. But nevermind. People like me are still worth boiling your blood over and developing high blood pressure and cancer related diseases. Remember like any neocon knows, a mind wasted by hate is a terrible thing to mind!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Dear Dr. Rush,
When someone "extra-ordinarily renditions" you and as part of the torture, forces you to have sex with one of the Democrats running for president who would it be?
Bobbie Beltway, DC

Dr Rush says,

Obviously there is only one female candidate in the race but you would have to double my dose of oxycontin AND Abu Ghraib me before I'd have anything to do with that witch which leaves only one candidate in the field with a soave voice, beautiful skintone and a schlong you just know can go the distance and you know I'm talking Obama -- when even just saying his name sounds WRONG and that makes kissing him even more exciting -- after 400 years of repression I just know he's got a tiger in there, waiting to be emancipated, I can't wait to get by a hold of by the tail whhhhhh ...

BLOG NOTE: Dr. Rush's column trails off and the editors of this blog have not been able to locate him.

Friday, June 1, 2007

Dear Dr. Rush,
Is there a such thing as Prostate Orgasm? Can a man reach a prostate orgasm through prostate stimulation?
Louis in LA

Dr Rush says,

You know, George Bush and I share a lot more than just hardcore patriotism and the desire to slaughter as many darker skinned "people" as we can, we also shared a really hot black dominatrix back in our hot 'lanta days. And let me assure you, she did things to us our anuses didn't soon forget. Ah, sometimes she chained us both together and made us ... Jesus, I digress. Yes, a man can achieve a prostate orgasm but only if administered by a skilled mistress and he's heterosexual. God did not make gay men in His image and He denied them the biggest "O" out of His divine wisdom.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Dear Dr. Rush,
WHY do I only attract femm bottom boys? I mean at first they act like a thug or even remotly masculine. I am a very good looking man.key word there (MAN).sucessful, funny, you know. A man's MAN! But then after they get this FAT, THICK, JUICEY, SIX AND A HALF INCH WONDERNESS I HAVE GOING ON BETWEEN MY LEGS THEY BITCH UP and literally become women. They compleately change their sexuality, hell, their whole SEX! So I guess my question is: DO MASCULINE BOTTOMS EXIST? And if so, where are they?
F'in Fish, Outta Water, OH

Dr Rush says,

People, my life's work includes my nearly pathological diatribe against FEMNAZI's, you know, the women who demand equality but in actually crave supremacy. Seems to me what you have got here is the exact opposite. FRANCOBOT's, if you will. Like the French, these bottoms want to be invaded repeatedly and like the French, surrender everything. Seems to me, my fine f'in fish, that you should switch nationalities. Next time you get that understandable and completely American urge to conquer, why not try invading a Greek for a change? And dare I say it, there is always the Middle East. We've been enjoying f'in them over for nearly a century!

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Dear Dr. Rush,
I'm a black homosexual and although I know it's wrong, I still have dreams about Don Imus. What should I do?
O-PEN 2 NE-THING, Sheetzkreek, OH

Dr Rush says,

I don't go in for Imus myself because I feel that one should be able to maintain a steady drug habit and habitually insult all minorties and women on the air AND STILL KEEP YOUR JOB. If you need NE-THING my nappy headed homo, you should be yearning for me!

Friday, April 13, 2007

Dear Dr. Rush,
I'm looking for a hot blatino boy on Spring Break. What city should I go to to find my modern thug? Also, please tell me how to hook up on the subway without getting beat up.
Blatino Boy Seeker, Adirondocks, PA

Dr Rush says,

My dear Boy Blunder, maybe there will come a day when I can learn to accept as equals you blacks, gays, blatinos, blagaynos, and whatever mishmosh you make of the human race, but not in this lifetime! So I suggest you dress up in pink tights, go to the nearest construction site and mince away your last few minutes on earth!
Dear Dr. Rush,
My monogamous lover (he and I have both tested negative for HIV) keeps begging me to try raw anal sex for weeks and I've been delaying it becasue I'm not too interested in getting a chocolate coated dick. What do you think the chances of a messy situation are of happening ? Either way, I guess I could just get fucking wasted and shove it up his shit-tube. After 9 beers I'm sure feces has the currency of gold.
Thunder, Washington, D.C.

Dr Rush says,
When it comes to confectionaries, I assure you I have probably tried them all. Chocolate coatings pose many problems, because the hot fudge stings when you first apply it. Later, it hardens and becomes too brittle. And when it comes to the part about 9 beers I hear you. Now, Senator, I'm glad you wrote me, as it's always important to consult with me before making major policy thrusts, I am all about escalation. However, you don't know what kind of "peeping Tom Daschles" might be monitoring your email, God bless Homeland Security, but you never know when what you might do may leak into the wrong hands. My advice is to lay low, until after the Presidential election. Keep plugging away, McCain, I mean "Thunder."
Dear Dr. Rush,
I dumped my ex-boyfriend. But his ex-boyfriend is really da bomb. Iz it cool to sleep with him?
Pat, Greenwich, CT

Dr Rush says,
Why don't you just contract AIDS, if you haven't already, round up all your ex's and their ex's and bareback every single one of them in some kind of sleazy "coco-dorm" bath house ... wait a minute, my editor just informed me that you are white, female and Republican! In that case, it is perfectly acceptable for you to "play the field" as it were. Enjoy, I know I do!
Dear Dr. Rush,
In a recent review by Rod at Fleshbot.com he said that Thugporn video is contaminated with salmonella. Should I microwave their DVDs before letting my husband watch them?
Sally May, Big Butte

Dr Rush says,
People, the only way you can get salmonella from sex is by actually having intercourse with the chicken, something I have sworn off since my Boy Scout days. It's just those liberals trying their "scare and shun" tactics again.
Dear Dr. Rush

I am a gay male, age 44, married to my boyfriend and our problem is ... Dr Rush cuts in,

Absolutely, positively, no way are you queers married. God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. With only two people on earth to procreate that left quite a lot of incest between their offspring - but that's the way God wanted it!
 


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